Ladies, revisited pts. I and II

CR's backyard

Near Carlsbad Public Beach

Cousin Chanel & I

CB's excellent profile

This week, as I slowly recover from my traveling lag and general attentiveness to non-vacation activities, I'm left with an overwhelming sense of love and comfort, reminding me of the immense value of my female friendships. The familiar feeling after being with my ladies--laughter, serious and not-so-serious conversations, fashion consultation, gossipy consultation, life-altering decision consultation--I am renewed and struck by the immense nourishment I get from these relationships. I know I am lucky. Not every woman I know has such an incredible support system. I try not to take that for granted. And although there are curves in our lives and the direction digresses from one another at times, I know who I can count on.

It was hard to say goodbye to the Carries--66% percent of the trifecta--as CR dropped us off at the airport Monday morning. Rarely are all three of us ever in the same location at the same time, but this trip proved we're on to something and I know we won't wait too long before that is replicated. Let's just say that the trip was one of indulgence--lots of eating (thanks to Shandiz for preparing all of those glorious plates and cocktails); shopping (J Crew dress on clearance; golf clothes for this summer); taking in the beach; trying out a few new restaurants; and spending most of our time dissecting the daily goings on of our lives. Their friends, Victor and Janine, whom I've gotten to know from the wedding, hosted a BBQ. My cousin Chanel and her friend came by for dinner(homemade enchiladas per the baby daddy) and us four older adults were transported back to an episode of "I'm a 20-year-old College Student." That makes you feel old. The views surrounding San Diego/Carlsbad really are spectacular, and the rolling (and massive) hills do leave you with a sense that this place is quite grand.

While approaching the officer in the security line, I let an older gentleman in line ahead of me, whom just happened to be one of our former Vice Presidents--what a cool experience. Looks much younger than 82!



The weekend prior to my departure out west, I met with my college friends for Kat's going away party for her deployment. Now you can understand this thread of recent female camaraderie! Beth and I drove down for the day and most of our ladies were there. Amy had a great spread for us, including GF chocolate cake. The silliness was inevitable, and soon I felt like it was all of us again, just with a few more husbands and kiddos. I left with the feeling that I don't see them enough; we need to get moving on our next event. (Cabin? Spa?)

A few good days

I was really excited to try this new restaurant, and strangely enough, since I had been there despite its November opening, I thought my birthday would be a good excuse to make my first visit. I had the spicy roll sampler, which included tuna, salmon and California rolls. The shumai dumplings were yummy, too. It was a really good mix of ladies--which left me thinking there should be more ladies-only events. After dinner we headed here and met up with Corey and some of the other men, and had some very excellent martinis. Saturday night we had dinner and my parents'--steak and twice-baked potatoes--and my mom surprised us by inviting Corey's parents. Sunday I drove to the Metrodome to watch the Saints play St. Thomas. I swear I get so nervous I shouldn't even be allowed to sit in the stands. Monday I spent a few hours shopping, drinking in all of the retail therapy I don't have access to at home. It was an excellent weekend.

The 30 crowd

Within 12 months houses the 30th birthdays of me and a great majority of my friends. Bonne Anniversaire, mes amies! I'm feeling the pressure to adopt a philosophy about this monumental birthday. Humor (and Hallmark) aside, most of the credos of aging are negative. Generally, I think being able to say I'm 30 (most likely because people I meet can barely believe I'm 20) kicks ass. There are so many conventions about what one should be at every landmark age and I don't really buy into that. For a lot of what we do, I think age is just a suggested guideline--consider it but don't let it dictate you. Maybe it's just a gaping dose of self-assessment/ego-centrism, but seeing that we live quite a bit longer than they did during Medieval times, we have to let our self-created mantras be our living guidelines, right?

My 30th year's worth of advice [to myself]:
1. Laugh more. Lots more.
1a. Have a kick ass party in your honor and don't think twice about it.
2. Care less about the tasks that in reality don't matter but consume much of your time. Still do them, but strive to care less.
3. Participate in creative endeavors more frequently (like the pottery class offered this summer).
4. Keep exercising so that you can still do it when you’re 70. (Make vanity only your second priority. Don’t worry that you are incredibly less flexible than even 10 years ago.)
4a. Don't skip dessert because it makes you appear sad.
4b. Don't buy the cheap wine just because it's cheaper; buy what tastes good.
5. Continue to kiss your husband each & every day, even if he doesn't like your gooey lip gloss.
6. Tell those closest to you that you love them, even if they're not people that you say "I love you" to.
7. Practice your spirituality, whatever that means to you.
8. Volunteer more. You do have time.
8a. Join a foundation/non-profit/become a board member of a cause that matters to you (DSAMN, Art Institute).
9. Remember that a dog's POV is a pretty good way to look at the world (i.e. let it go).
10. Let it go. Being right all the time doesn't ensure well, anything, really.
11. Who cares if people are mad at you. You can't be everything to everyone.
12. Be grateful. Every day.
13. Learn to water ski. Forget how much farther you are from the water than when you were 8.