Today was the culmination of Duluth's best-known weekend and I finished the Half Marathon, which was the first I've completed in several years. While I felt more prepared than I ever had for a race before, the last two weeks were stressful--physically and emotionally. I was gone at a work conference and came down with the flu. Then I found out I had strep so the grossness that usually plagues me in the winter was now occurring in June. Special. Although chilly, for the first 4 or 5 miles I was sort of floating around, feeling very zen. I was also caught up in the excitement of it all and was going WAY too fast for my pace. Then I had to go the bathroom...really bad. I should have just gone before the start time but the lines were so long. I thought about just peeing down my leg...but I REALLY like my running shoes and don't think a long-term pee smell was very pleasing. So at mile 9 I had to wait in line for the biffy (there were no bushes/wooded areas around) and that took about 4.5 minutes. Annoying. Thank goodness I came upon some familiar faces that popped up a few times and braved the cold.
What I find most irritating about myself is I was so consumed with not meeting my goal time and having to stop at the bathroom that I was kind of in a bad mood when I finished. I was crabby about my time instead of reveling wholeheartedly about my accomplishment. What a dumb reaction, but when you work hard at something you have expectations that can distract you from all the good stuff. Last night after picking up my race packet, I thought I could put a full marathon on my "Complete before 35 or 40" List. Then about 1 mile from the finish, I decided maybe I didn't need to do that... : ) I was also thinking about some new workout plans that were briefer and potentially more effective.
Am I the only one who sabotages a fun moment? Why do we let our expectations get in the way? I will relax about it tonight as I have a steak or cheeseburger and some wine.
2 comments:
Congrats Carrie on the half! Emotions run high when you're sick and when you've run over 13 miles - you have every right to be frustrated, happy, irritated, whatever runs through your veins! You deserve it after completing the half - even if it is a few minutes of crabbiness!
Ahh, great post! I totally get what you are saying about being consumed with the time, rather than the journey. It is hard not to post a better time, rather than just enjoy the fact of finishing a very long race! Totally chuckled with the peeing thoughts...hahaha!
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